Spoiler alert: I don’t really think Europe and Canada are murdering their citizens to make their socialized healthcare numbers work…but I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m sure it’s come up in side-chats, been floated as “what a weird coincidence”, or lurked in the dark recesses of policymakers’ minds, right next to their OnlyFans password. Let’s talk about the curb-stomping Europe and Canada are getting from Trump, technology, and reality, itself.
The first sign of problems was Brexit. British citizens wanted sovereignty over their borders. How annoying! Why can’t some unelected bureaucrat send unlimited refugees into an ethnostate with no ability to absorb them? Besides London, Britain is now poorer than Mississippi, our poorest state. Our catfish can afford better apartments. Europe was so snooty and entitled, they thought the UK would get its punishment. Now, both sit in the corner in a dunce cap.
Next was the invasion of Ukraine. Weekend-at-Biden’s tried to follow the spirit of NATO (Ukraine is not a member), but everyone, including Putin, soon realized no one in NATO would fight and their US arms dealer had inventory problems. Plus, everyone feared escalation. At the same time, the disruption in energy flows forced Europe’s green fantasies to come crashing down, as Germany and others re-opened COAL PLANTS. That’s right, Europe greened its way back to COAL. A pathetic embarrassment.
Then came Trump II. Like most sequels, it was way worse than the original. Last time, he (rightly) shamed NATO allies into paying their fair share for defense. This time, he said, “What defense?” He cut off Ukraine funds and bought a ballroom. Then, started a trade war and threatened to take Greenland. If Europe didn’t get his message before, it did now: YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!! Trump’s zero-sum politics sent them scrambling to fund Ukraine themselves and build up militaries with money they once used for sutures and baguettes. Indirectly, the US has been subsidizing European luxury health care through our unhinged militarization. Meanwhile, our citizens are stitching themselves up with whatever they found on Amazon Subprime.
Canada was getting more of the same. Suddenly, it bumped Puerto Rico on America’s Next Top State w/Tyrant Banks. Trump hit Canada so hard, Trudeau fled to Katy Perry’s house, never to be seen again. New PM Mark Carney acknowledged Canada’s new reality: the “global order” was done, and Canada must find new diabetics to stuff with maple syrup.
By the time Trump got to bombing Iran, it was clear that the luxury Net Zero bullshit Europe sold itself, was just that. Solar panels are great to power a financial calculator or a cottage in Sicily, not a functional economy. Not only did Europe make fuel so expensive that no one had air conditioning, they robbed their citizens (fuel is baked into everything), and de-industrialized their economies. They handed every morsel of production to China, which made all their stuff extra dirty. ‘Let’s double the CO2, just for fun!’
Suddenly, Europe woke up starved for defense, energy, and soon, AI. Technologically, Europe was about to become the slow kid on the short bus to a pointless school.
That doesn’t even touch on Europe’s self-inflicted wounds:
Tax code that punishes work, hiring, and entrepreneurship
Disruptive mass immigration that won’t assimilate - to the point that Sweden bribed migrants to pack up their knives and go
Aging population with too few workers to prop up HEFTY social programs
Waning ability to control narratives, which are now scattered across social sites, not on some government-funded channel or handful of others whose licenses can be threatened.
Back in 2017, I predicted that Trump will make us great again, not through anything conscious or well-intention, but simply by waterboarding us with realities we’d rather ignore. Trump I was America’s intervention, Trump II is the world’s. This is our Global Bar Mitzvah. We’re all big boys and girls now. So go forth and multiply.
PS - Don’t mistake my rant for pessimism. I am optimistic we can fix things. As long as everyone listens to ME! (Why else do you think anyone creates content, instead of doing dozens of more lucrative things? Narcissism, grandiosity, groupies. I’ll battle my demons, you fight yours.) Anyway, I hope my optimism is justified. If you enjoyed this nugget of edutainment, pass this on to a friend…or a Canadian, before it’s too late.
